Last night I was overwhelmed, shaken and struggling. I was ready to throw in the towel on a number of things and I started having a lot of down spiralling thoughts all of a sudden. Yet before all of these crazy thoughts came to mind, when I was just starting to feel overwhelmed, I saw a picture on my computer's screensaver of a person walking in the sunshing with a scripture stating "He has not left me alone."
Jesus is always with me. I knew God was saying something when I saw it, but I didn't really know to what measure. I didn't feel lonely and I knew God was with me and would never ever abandon me (or anyone else). So I continued on into the night of 2200 hours... where I was ready to give up on studies, give up on missions, and a lot more (thoughts going crazily on) but I definitely knew I was going to bed and getting my Bible out. I also sent a text to two good friends asking for their allegiance in praying. Yet when I started journalling my prayer to God, I was able to place everything into perspective, to think rationally and continue to worship Yahweh. It wasn't content written in declarence of defeat and hopelessness, it wasn't denial; it was truth. This is saying something compared to a year ago where I just left the dark thoughts flow relentlessly in hard times.
God came through even more that night. The picture was on a randomised feed, and so I had forgotten the verse reference and really wanted to meditate on that said scripture. The first thought that I thought of was John 1:29 ("29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!"). That wasn't what I was looking, so I spent some time asking God again, and John 4:29 (“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?”) came to mind. I put my search at rest for the night there. But God did not stop relaying the message. Both of these verses seem irrelevant to the struggles I was having and the verse I was looking for, yet they both made me realise Jesus knows every single sin, all the sins combined of every single person alive, and He still chooses to love us. Now how many of us would love someone if they continually hurt us? Not many. Jesus does! Jesus loves us. He knows all our wrongdoings and still chooses to walk by our side, calling us into His Kingdom! He doesn't leave us. EVER! Romans 8:38-39
("37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am
convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.")
states that nothing could ever make Him stop loving us . There's nothing that will force God to say "I don't love you. I want nothing to do with you." He will ALWAYS say "I love you! I want everything to do with you! I want you to share everything with me always!" Isn't that amazing. What an awesome God we serve!!!
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