Freezing cold, wet weather and long hours can make anyone crazy and focused on keeping busy instead of slowing down to take a moment and make a smile, then come back later and have a quick conversation.
His name I did not catch, but we were on Yale Street, in Houston - a place known for its rich folk and also for the mass of homeless people that live under the bridges in the area, and whilst freezing cold and sprinkling icy rain, he was walking to Walmart in a flannel shirt and ripped jeans a couple sizes too big. His hair was a tossed and he was worn with his journey. But he also had the biggest heart.
I welcomed him, as he went into Walmart, asking the usual, "Hi, how are you?" And he smiled and replied or nodded back and went on in. I knew he was homeless and I wondered what his story was...
He came out a while later, and even though I wasn't planning in asking him for a donation, only to have a chat, he came I've and put his hand over the bucket and said "God has blessed me with this, so I can bless others".
What could I say? I wanted to know his story! But all time pressed was a very big appreciation and if he knew anyone that needed help (trying not to pressure any self impliance) to let them know the information of the given flier.
He said he knew many and he would give the information to as many as he knew.
It was not his actions that touched my heart, but his intentions. A man of so little, humble and giving so much. His story reminded me of the Bible story found in Luke 21:1-4.
"As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”"
Giving what they had, not out of recognition but because they had all they needed and wanted to bless others. They saw the importance of giving rather than receiving. They saw the importance of being humble and allowing God to bring them up, than trying to create a status of recognition for themselves, puffed up by air. How we too should follow this example... Give often and bless others. Hold onto only what we need to survive and help others with our excess to survive too, and allow ourselves to live by the quote...
IT'S BETTER TO GIVE THAN RECEIVE.
( A photo from the following day, which was drier and a lot warmer, of our friend who was a blessing - in maroon and jeans, walking to his 'fly the sign' place or his sleeping place).
(Skyline view from the Walmart on Yale St, Houston)
Hey guys, here's a short (very) basic (and rough) video on what my room looks like at Eagle Rock and who I get the privilege of sharing it with.
I will be creating and uploading a more professional looking video (not so rough and basic) of the whole Eagle Rock campus (where I am in Colorado), near Blackhawk, when I get the chance, but until then, enjoy and have a great day!
Note: I've just realised that the border has cut off more of the images/videos than I thought, so I will try uploading a video without the border so that you can actually see everyone's name and location.
How is everyone going? Life here in Newcastle has so far been an interesting journey. One, not quite yet over, but taking a completely different directional turn of events.
Whilst my school, the Compassion DTS, of 18 people, are going on outreach (9 of them being my team that is heading to Byron Bay, Toowoomba and Cambodia); I will not be joining them on this adventure. Nor will I be staying at the YWAM Newcastle base for debrief and commissioning, as is what usually happens after outreach. Instead I will be taking a different path. I don’t know yet what that path is exactly, nor am I writing this update to seek pity or sympathy, or any other emotion, but I am letting you know, as you have supported me currently, and in the past, for several reasons.
One, is to let you know that my plans have changed.
Two, is for those of you who have supported me in the lecture phase, thank you! Your money did not go to waste… do not feel like it did. Whilst part of me is struggling with the thought that this was a complete waste of time, I KNOW God is doing something, and it started here at YWAM Newcastle. I have learnt so much here, and it is somewhere in my head (and hopefully making its way down to my heart), and I have you to thank, for giving me this opportunity to get to know God more; to know Him more on a personal level and not just on a theological level (that we often slip into).
Three, is for those of you who gave me money specifically for outreach. I have already contacted you if your money did go towards outreach fees, and it should be in your email inbox now. Please let me know what your decision is. I am happy if you want your money back, but I will also be blessed and will accept it, if you want your money to go into the account I’ve set up for when I do complete a DTS or do some other God-called mission trip. I will not spend any of this money, unless God leads me into doing something for Him again (it is set aside for God-called work), which I am trusting and believing He will, as I have no reason to be alive, except by His grace and glory. This is not me giving up something because it’s hard. I am not giving up. This is me, changing direction, to seek further help, with the advice, encouragement, and support of YWAM Newcastle, on being restored more physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, where YWAM is not equipped to do so.
And fourthly, I am telling you this, because I would really appreciate your prayer and support. I don’t need any discouragement, as my mind is creating enough of that already, nor do I want you feeling sorry for me, as it’s another “incomplete” thing… but your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I have no idea what God has in store for me. All I know is that right now it’s not YWAM outreach, and it’s probably trying to get some holistic help so that I can be who God originally created me to be. Whether that is in NSW, or WA, or Vic, or outside of Australia, I don’t know. All I know is that who I am right now, how I feel (incomplete and broken) is not how God wants me to feel or what He’s made me to be.
Part of this update is also for my YWAM school mates (Compassion DTS). You guys are absolute legends. Whilst I struggled to connect with you at first, and was delegated as the tour guide (which I did enjoy), I can never replace the time I’ve had with you guys, with anything better. I know I was here for a reason. I know that each of you have taught or inspired me. I also know that you guys will do amazing things on outreach (and after). You are so God-focused, it’s AMAZING! Keep letting Him be your guide, your fore-runner. Let Him be the scout in front of your army. Follow in His footsteps.
I know I should have told you guys (Compassion DTS) this on Wednesday, when I told you that I wouldn’t be joining you on outreach, but I also have a tendency to push people away, and I have been doing it a little bit the last few (4) weeks, more this week, and will probably also do it next week too. I am not pushing you away because I don’t want you, or have been hurt by you, but because I don’t do well with leaving people, with saying goodbye (remember ‘rejection’ coming up in Father’s Heart of God week?). It’s more a subconscious thing… which ends up hurting me more in the long run (as I sometimes think I am the one being pushed away) and it’s something I am trying to work on (ask some of my best friends – I did it before I came to DTS). So I am letting you know now, so if you think I’m behaving a certain way because of something you have or haven’t done, it’s not because of you, it’s because I’m hurting and trying to put up security walls of protection out of insecurity… But remember that you have significantly and positively impacted me, and God will do amazing things with, for and through you – LET HIM!!!
I also want to say thanks to all of you who have supported me through this. Thank you to my prayer and financial supporters, for all the support you have given me in getting me here and staying here. I wish I could show you more gratitude than just a mention in this blog post… you guys have played a huge role in the changing of my life.
To the Compassion DTS leaders, thanks heaps (akun) for having the patience to put up with my struggles, and for trying to guide me onto the right path; for not letting me quit; for letting God speak through you to me, even when it seemed weird or I didn’t seem to accept the word that He had for me and hurt you through the process. Thank you for taking the time out of your life (even though it’s what God has called you to do) to minister to all of us and for obeying God – even when you were in a new phase of life and wanted a chance to settle into that new step of life.
Wanda nalu (thanks) to my team mates, for coming alongside the solo-Aussie and letting her into your groups of friendship; for dealing (and coping) with me when I was upset or isolating myself, and praying for me when I was unwell. Thanks for caring, when I didn’t deserve it.
And last but not least, thank you to all my friends and family back home. I know that you, of all people, would probably find this hardest to hear (and I haven’t told a lot of you – nor really anyone, even here in Newie, until now, because I don’t want to hurt you), but know that God has a reason for it – whilst I don’t know what it is, I am relying on Romans 8:28 and what I know of the character of God, that He will use this to bring His name glory, and it will all work out for good. I love you guys, with as much love as I understand, and am so thankful that God has placed you in my life throughout the years. You have each moulded me into the woman I am becoming today. Thank you so much!
Now back to the more 'formal' stuff...
As I have said above, I’ve learnt heaps, and when I’ve had a chance to process, know clearly what I have learnt (and it’s in my heart) I am hoping to post some of it here, to share with you what your support has helped me in. Two things that have surfaced a lot and have been slowly becoming clear in the last two months are that I cannot place God in a box and expect Him only to show up in a certain way, for if I do that then I might as well be like a horse with blinkers on… unable to see fully, and potentially missing out on what God actually wants to show me. The other thing is that Jesus is a rescuer… I don’t know how He is a rescuer yet… but I am believing that He will rescue me. I do know that He’s rescued us all from our sins and we have authority, under His name, to step out from that bondage… we don’t need to live in our sin; we are not held down by our past or our family’s past… we are a new creation; we are FREE in JESUS’ name!
Whilst I don’t know what the next few months entail; whilst I came here in hope that God would show Himself to me and give me steps to take for the future… a guide of what He has in store for me; whilst everything is up in the air, and I at this moment, I am angry and hurt with God (and trying to deal with it), I am also trusting in Him, as there is no one else in this World who knows what all of us should be doing AND still loves us, even when we’ve walked away from Him and His path for our lives. So at the moment all I know is that I am trusting God, and whilst I’m looking at different options, the only definite option I have and know at the moment is to trust in God!
Again, thank you for all your support in getting me and keeping me here, and for the love you have shown me (whether you’ve known me for only a couple of months, or for my whole life), it’s meant a lot!
I hope to hear how your lives are going and what you’ve been up to while I’m been away. Have a very merry Christmas and a blessed New Years and GBUG (God Bless U Good).
It’s been awhile since I’ve given you a lengthy update. How are you all? How’s life?
Life for me, down in YWAM Newy is going great. There’s a lot of things happening, some great, and some not so great, but when you know that God is in control of everything, do you really need to worry about the things that aren’t going as initially planned?
I’m about to start my Week 9 down here, which is ‘Lordship’. Already I have attended the following weeks and topics:
Week 1: Hearing God’s Voice (taught by Sarah McCutcheon – YWAM Newy staff) Week 2: Father’s Heart of God (David Stevenson – YWAM Newcastle Base Director) Week 3: Fear of God (Mark Brokenshire – Education Dean of YWAM University of the Nations, Australia) Week 4: God’s Character (Natalie Neubauer – YWAM Newy Staff) Week 5: Bible Study (Jonathon Spainhour – YWAM Townsville Staff) Week 6: Spiritual Warfare (Peter Warren – YWAM Denver, Colorado, Staff) Week 7: Holy Spirit (Keven Norris – YWAM Uni of the Nations - Kona, Hawaii) Week 8: Evangelism (Stevie Lujan – YWAM Newcastle Staff)
There has been so much taught, and so much to take in (and apply to life) that I am amazed my brain hasn’t exploded. I can’t really explain what we’ve learnt, as I think my brain started to have the retention span of a sponge, and so whilst I know it’s in there, I can’t pull it out of the millions of neurons that are located within my skull… but I will endeavour to list the highlight I’ve learnt from each week.
Week 1 (Hearing God’s Voice) It’s a relationship NOT a formula. It does not happen instantly; like friendship, it takes time… The more you hang with God, the closer that friendship will form. Each person hears God differently (hence there is no clear formula). We need to share the relationship with God (taking time to listen to Him, when we talk to Him, and let Him feed into us) and not just stalk God (like we do on facebook)!
Week 2 (Father’s Heart of God) God made Himself vulnerable, by wanting us to call Him Father. There is two types of pride – big wheel pride (the one we often think of) and little wheel pride (‘I’m nothing’, ‘worthless’, etc. – saying that you’re less value than the value God has given you) (Numbers 13:32: If you see yourself less than God sees you; then eventually others will see you, the same way that you see yourself!).
Ask God what His opinion of you is…
Mine was: “God loves me like a newborn child is first loved by their Father. God sees me as His blood daughter – unable to lose the identity, the value, the worth!” (Wednesday 12th of October, 2011)
Don’t reject the blessings (or compliments) God has given you!
Week 3: Fear of God (FOG) • Society has changed its standards over time; signified by pre-modernism, modernism and post-modernism. • Satisfaction comes through fear of God. • Every society has 7 spheres of influence. • Knowing God through the Bible, Jesus, creation and revelation! • When we fear God (out of respect), our desire for sin lessens. • Get your needs met by God, not by man!
Summary: Recognise God as all powerful! But a fear out of reverence, with His love and care for us; resulting in our dislike/hate of evil doings.
Week 4: God’s Character How we view God depends on the lens that we decide to look through (e.g. history of a rough life – we can look through that lens, as if God is mean and harsh). We can see God’s character by looking at nature. This was really cool because it was and is probably one of the loudest ways God speaks to me!
For example, sitting on a cliff edge ledge, jutting out from Fort Scratchley, overlooking Newcastle, taught me the following about God:
Ocean waves – God is releasing, refreshing, renewing… each wave brings new life, like each breath of God we inhale.
Watching a big coal ship being guided into port by 3 tug boats – seeing where God has been after, but not necessarily during – God is guiding.
Seeing lizards fossicking in and out of the ledge, even though there’s a 10-20 metre drop below, they’re secure and just gliding in and out of the crevices, knowing they’re okay. God is cheeky/adventureful-adventurous!
Butterflies flying around flittingly and fully (only being alive for 3 days), just enjoying life and living it to the fullest joyfully. Living for the moment!
God is strong, powerful, thick, undefinable… Looking towards the horizon, and seeing thick storm clouds coming in, making the horizon’s line between the clouds and ocean indistinguishable. God cannot be defined!
God wants our full attention and focus! He is a jealous God! He wants our full love and affection!
Self-summary: God cannot be put into a box; however we can try to put Him in a box, based on our history/past. It is only through realising this point and being more open minded and changing our attitude, that we realise that God is so much bigger than we can ever describe. We need to become childlike, trusting without questioning!
Week 5: Bible Study Basically this week was different ways to interpret the Bible; from doing a basic grammar lesson to using different Internet sources. A lot of the information can only be presented in context of the full week, so I can’t really allocate specific points to this area, except that we went through Philemon, as a class, and the whole week’s lecture was over skype. An interesting week of lectures, that’s for sure.
Week 6: Spiritual Warfare I really appreciated this week’s lectures - The structure, the information, and the amount of references. It was taught at Tahlee (An old Christian Bible College, near Port Stephens), with great views, in amongst nature. We joined two other DTSs (Discipleship Training Schools), one being from the Cook Islands, and the other from Island Breeze (Woollongong). All of us were serving YWAM staff and leaders from all over the South Pacific and Australia, in YWAM’s National Leaders Meeting. It was AMAZING!!! I made some great friends in the few days I got to share the experience with. I also experienced my first vision (from God) here, in one of our weekly intercession meetings we have… which I may share in a later post.
Some of the points I learnt from this week are as follows:
Westerners have a harder time grasping the concept of spiritual warfare, because we generally believe in only what we can see and touch. Satan’s power is real, but God is in control overall. The devil is not at fault, for everything that happens. God gave us a choice to choose a lifestyle, as well as tools we can use. If we don’t guard our own mind, spirit, and body, than we can’t blame God for not protecting us.
God is not limited by anyone or anything, but He does limit Himself!
There IS power in prayer!
God has given us authority to speak against Satan, but we have to know AND believe that we have that authority!
God values love, over control. His mind can change! He did not create any of us to be evil. Nothing limits God!
Everything God created is sanctified (I Corinthians 10:25-26). We pray over meals to sanctify it (originating from Paul’s time, where it may have been offered to idols, etc. – sort of like halal I guess) (I Timothy 4:5).
Week 7: Holy Spirit
Our Worldview affects how we handle God.
The Holy Spirit may have a harder time getting through to us, because of our worldviews.
We have emotions and physical pain for a reason, they’re both good!
It is okay, and should actually be encouraged, to express how you’re feeling in church and in life. If you don’t feel like worshipping, say so! Tell God how you feel… God, I don’t feel like worshipping… God I am angry at You, but follow it through with a BUT (like David did)… God I feel alone, everyone has abandoned me, but I know that You are always with me and I will praise You for it! Stuffing the emotions, is not giving it to God, nor are you dealing with it.
If you’re not actively seeking out a deeper relationship with God – Your love is growing cold – this is relevant to our relationships in marriage and with God! You need commitment AND desire in anything that lasts!
We need to go to God first, as our root source of help!
Our relationship with the Holy Spirit, is the same as our relationship with God, it takes time!!! DON’T GIVE UP!!!!!
Week 8: Evangelism God dwells where there is tension! Do you see a need or a problem, and you want someone to fix it? Why don’t you fix it? Why don’t you do something to change it? Do you not feel qualified enough, or that it’s not where your gifts are meant to be used? God works best when we’re out of our comfort zone!
If you can’t share the love of God out of your own experience, don’t share it. What point is there to us evangelising, if we can’t say how God’s changed our lives and show it? It’s like trying to sell a cake to someone who needs to know all the ingredients and what the flavour is, and we have no idea what to tell them, because we didn’t make the cake, or try it, before selling it…
God’s biggest expression of love is not that He’s forgiven us, but that He’s made us. We were created for bigger reasons than to just be forgiven. Everything in creation is based on relationships! We were created in the image of the trinity; chemical elements are relational particles, and humans need relationships! Nothing exists that does not have some relationship component in its structure.
Jesus needs to be at the centre of the relationship, and evangelising! We do not want something like Jones Town to occur again, where the focus of Jesus was lost.
So that was what I’ve been learning these past 8 weeks. There is so much content that could be further explained in what I’ve written, and even more that has not been written.
This last Friday I also had the chance to experience the American holiday ‘Thanksgiving’, it was definitely a very thankful time. We had so much food – including American tasting pumpkin pie, apple pie, jelly, bread rolls, brownies, etc. The main thing I found interesting though was the easiness of slipping into an attitude of frustration or negativity. We had some guests over, and so with table places only created, decorated, and set for the All Generation DTS and the Compassion DTS, there were not enough seats for about 10 of us, including myself.
I had been looking forward to the night’s celebrations all day, and to not be a part of the central celebration hurt – I wanted to experience the full flavour! This opened a can of worms where I felt frustrations at the pace of some of the activities that had occurred in the afternoon and the fact that there were guests there too… I really had to examine my heart deeply and realign my attitude.
It was my choice to help some friends with their errands at the pharmacy and shops, and it was my choice to decide to change out of wet clothes, into something dry; and thanksgiving is a time that is meant to be shared… so if I wanted it to be, I could be thankful we could share an essence of YWAM with people that weren’t originally from YWAM (which I did decide to do) and was also able to make our own special thanksgiving celebration, between the 4 of us (all from Compassion and none of us having experienced Thanksgiving before). It was a great night!
There have also been a few more things that have changed, and I will let you know what they are, but for now, I think I need to end this post, blog it, and allow you guys to read it, before you fall asleep from how long it has become.
Let me know how you’re going, and until next time, God Bless U Good (GBUG).
It’s been awhile since I’ve given you a lengthy update. How are you all?
How’s life?
Life for me, down in YWAM Newy is going great. There’s a lot of things happening, some great, and some not so great, but when you know that God is in control of everything, do you really need to worry about the things that aren’t going as initially planned?
I’m about to start my Week 9 down here, which is ‘Lordship’. Already I have attended the following weeks and topics:
Week 1: Hearing God’s Voice (taught by Sarah McCutcheon – YWAM Newy staff) Week 2: Father’s Heart of God (David Stevenson – YWAM Newcastle Base Director) Week 3: Fear of God (Mark Brokenshire – Education Dean YWAM University of Nations, Aus) Week 4: God’s Character (Natalie Neubauer – YWAM Newy Staff) Week 5: Bible Study (Jonathon Spainhour – YWAM Townsville Staff) Week 6: Spiritual Warfare (Peter Warren – YWAM Denver, Colorado, Staff) Week 7: Holy Spirit (Keven Norris – YWAM Uni of the Nations - Kona, Hawaii) Week 8: Evangelism (Stevie Lujan – YWAM Newcastle Staff)
There have been so much taught, and so much to take in (and apply to life) that I am amazed my brain hasn’t exploded. I can’t really explain what we’ve learnt, as I think my brain started to have the retention span of a sponge, and so whilst I know it’s in there, I can’t pull it out of the millions of neurons that are located within my skull… but I will endeavour to list the highlight I’ve learnt from each week.
Week 1 (Hearing God’s Voice)
It’s a relationship NOT a formula. It does not happen instantly; like friendship, it takes time… The more you hang with God, the closer that friendship will form. Each person hears God differently (hence there is no clear formula). We need to share the relationship with God (taking time to listen to Him, when we talk to Him, and let Him feed into us) and not just stalk God (like we do on facebook)!
Week 2 (Father’s Heart of God)
God made Himself vulnerable, by wanting us to call Him Father. There is two types of pride – big wheel pride (the one we often think of) and little wheel pride (‘I’m nothing’, ‘worthless’, etc. – saying that you’re less value than the value God has given you) (Numbers 13:32: If you see yourself less than God sees you; then eventually others will see you, the same way that you see yourself!).
Ask God what His opinion of you is…
Mine was:
“God loves me like a newborn child is first loved by their Father. God sees me as His blood daughter – unable to lose the identity, the value, the worth!” (Wednesday 12th of October, 2011)
Don’t reject the blessings (or compliments) God has given you!
Week 3: Fear of God (FOG)
• Society has changed its standards over time; signified by pre-modernism, modernism and post-modernism.
• Satisfaction comes through fear of God.
• Every society has 7 spheres of influence.
• Knowing God through the Bible, Jesus, creation and revelation!
• When we fear God (out of respect), our desire for sin lessens.
• Get your needs met by God, not by man!
Summary: Recognise God as all powerful! But a fear out of reverence, with His love and care for us; resulting in our dislike/hate of evil doings.
Week 4: God’s Character
How we view God depends on the lens that we decide to look through (e.g. history of a rough life – we can look through that lens, as if God is mean and harsh).
We can see God’s character by looking at nature. This was really cool because it was and is probably one of the loudest ways God speaks to me!
For example, sitting on a cliff edge ledge, jutting out from Fort Scratchley, overlooking Newcastle, taught me the following about God:
1. Ocean waves – God is releasing, refreshing, renewing… each wave brings new life, like each breath of God we inhale.
2. Watching a big coal ship being guided into port by 3 tug boats – seeing where God has been after, but not necessarily during – God is guiding.
3. Seeing lizards fossicking in and out of the ledge, even though there’s a 10-20 metre drop below, they’re secure and just gliding in and out of the crevices, knowing they’re okay. God is cheeky/adventureful-adventurous!
4. Butterflies flying around flittingly and fully (only being alive for 3 days), just enjoying life and living it to the fullest joyfully. Living for the moment!
5. God is strong, powerful, thick, undefinable… Looking towards the horizon, and seeing thick storm clouds coming in, making the horizon’s line between the clouds and ocean indistinguishable. God cannot be defined!
God wants our full attention and focus! He is a jealous God! He wants our full love and affection!
Self-summary: God cannot be put into a box; however we can try to put Him in a box, based on our history/past. It is only through realising this point and being more open minded and changing our attitude, that we realise that God is so much bigger than we can ever describe. We need to become childlike, trusting without questioning!
Week 5: Bible Study
Basically this week was different ways to interpret the Bible; from doing a basic grammar lesson to using different Internet sources. A lot of the information can only be presented in context of the full week, so I can’t really allocate specific points to this area, except that we went through Philemon, as a class, and the whole week’s lecture was over skype. An interesting week of lectures, that’s for sure.
Week 6: Spiritual Warfare
I really appreciated this week’s lectures - The structure, the information, and the amount of references. It was taught at Tahlee (An old Christian Bible College, near Port Stephens), with great views, in amongst nature. We joined two other DTSs (Discipleship Training Schools), one being from the Cook Islands, and the other from Island Breeze (Woollongong). All of us were serving YWAM staff and leaders from all over the South Pacific and Australia, in YWAM’s National Leaders Meeting. It was AMAZING!!! I made some great friends in the few days I got to share the experience with. I also experienced my first vision (from God) here, in one of our weekly intercession meetings we have… which I may share in a later post.
Some of the points I learnt from this week are as follows:
Westerners have a harder time grasping the concept of spiritual warfare, because we generally believe in only what we can see and touch. Satan’s power is real, but God is in control overall. The devil is not at fault, for everything that happens. God gave us a choice to choose a lifestyle, as well as tools we can use. If we don’t guard our own mind, spirit, and body, than we can’t blame God for not protecting us.
God is not limited by anyone or anything, but He does limit Himself!
There IS power in prayer!
God has given us authority to speak against Satan, but we have to know AND believe that we have that authority!
God values love, over control. His mind can change! He did not create any of us to be evil. Nothing limits God!
Everything God created is sanctified (I Corinthians 10:25-26). We pray over meals to sanctify it (originating from Paul’s time, where it may have been offered to idols, etc. – sort of like halal I guess) (I Timothy 4:5).
Week 7: Holy Spirit
• Our Worldview affects how we handle God.
• The Holy Spirit may have a harder time getting through to us, because of our worldviews.
• We have emotions and physical pain for a reason, they’re both good!
• It is okay, and should actually be encouraged, to express how you’re feeling in church and in life. If you don’t feel like worshipping, say so! Tell God how you feel… God, I don’t feel like worshipping… God I am angry at You, but follow it through with a BUT (like David did)… God I feel alone, everyone has abandoned me, but I know that You are always with me and I will praise You for it! Stuffing the emotions, is not giving it to God, nor are you dealing with it.
• If you’re not actively seeking out a deeper relationship with God – Your love is growing cold – this is relevant to our relationships in marriage and with God! You need commitment AND desire in anything that lasts!
• We need to go to God first, as our root source of help!
• Our relationship with the Holy Spirit, is the same as our relationship with God, it takes time!!! DON’T GIVE UP!!!!!
• Week 8: Evangelism
God dwells where there is tension! Do you see a need or a problem, and you want someone to fix it? Why don’t you fix it? Why don’t you do something to change it? Do you not feel qualified enough, or that it’s not where your gifts are meant to be used? God works best when we’re out of our comfort zone!
If you can’t share the love of God out of your own experience, don’t share it. What point is there to us evangelising, if we can’t say how God’s changed our lives and show it? It’s like trying to sell a cake to someone who needs to know all the ingredients and what the flavour is, and we have no idea what to tell them, because we didn’t make the cake, or try it, before selling it…
God’s biggest expression of love is not that He’s forgiven us, but that He’s made us. We were created for bigger reasons than to just be forgiven. Everything in creation is based on relationships! We were created in the image of the trinity; chemical elements are relational particles, and humans need relationships! Nothing exists that does not have some relationship component in its structure.
Jesus needs to be at the centre of the relationship, and evangelising! We do not want something like Jones Town to occur again, where the focus of Jesus was lost.
So that was what I’ve been learning these past 8 weeks. There is so much content that could be further explained in what I’ve written, and even more that has not been written.
This last Friday I also had the chance to experience the American holiday ‘Thanksgiving’, it was definitely a very thankful time. We had so much food – including American tasting pumpkin pie, apple pie, jelly, bread rolls, brownies, etc. The main thing I found interesting though was the easiness of slipping into an attitude of frustration or negativity. We had some guests over, and so with table places only created, decorated, and set for the All Generation DTS and the Compassion DTS, there were not enough seats for about 10 of us, including myself. I had been looking forward to the night’s celebrations all day, and to not be a part of the central celebration hurt – I wanted to experience the full flavour! This opened a can of worms where I felt frustrations at the pace of some of the activities that had occurred in the afternoon and the fact that there were guests there too… I really had to examine my heart deeply and realign my attitude. It was my choice to help some friends with their errands at the pharmacy and shops, and it was my choice to decide to change out of wet clothes, into something dry; and thanksgiving is a time that is meant to be shared… so if I wanted it to be, I could be thankful we could share an essence of YWAM with people that weren’t originally from YWAM (which I did decide to do) and was also able to make our own special thanksgiving celebration, between the 4 of us (all from Compassion and none of us having experienced Thanksgiving before). It was a great night!
There has also been a few more things that have changed, and I will let you know what they are, but for now, I think I need to end this post, blog it, and allow you guys to read it, before you fall asleep from how long it has become.
Let me know how you’re going, and until next time, God Bless U Good (GBUG).
Hey all, Sorry I haven't posted anything lately. I'm still alive!
Right now I have a few minutes spare, which I can quickly update you on what's been happening, and I'll hopefully getting round to giving you a full update later.
So the last time I wrote, I think was when I needed $500 within 24 hours, to pay for airline tickets, and thankfully it all came in. Thank you to those who were praying, helped support me financially, and God for overseeing it all.
Since then, it's been usual work activities, apart from last week, where we spent a week at Tahlee.
Where we were staying used to be a Bible College, but now it's just a beautiful camping/dorm area.
We had the YWAM National Leaders Meeting, and Regional Leaders Training there, which involved YWAMmers from all over Australia, and the South Asia/Pacific areas, coming together. Our role, as Compassion DTS Students, whilst doing lectures, and studying, was serving these missionaries, and their kids, through food prep and clean up, cleaning out their accommodation and ammenities, and ensuring they had an enjoyful stay.
Our school also did their lectures (on Spiritual Warfare - by Peter R. Warren) with two other schools (Island Breeze - Based in Sydney; and YWAM, Cook Islands). This time was amazing. To have so many different cultures all mingled together, and just be filled with a joyous presence of people was simply divine and a God-send. Friends were definitely made!!!
We also had our YouthStreet live on Saturday night, and spent the Sunday afternoon, as a whole base, out on Croudace Bay - celebrating one of the staff members - Brooke, and relaxing/celebrating a few hard weeks, together.
This week, we are joining YWAM Newcastle's other DTS currently running - All Generation DTS, and we'll be learning about the Holy Spirit, and putting practical steps in place.
I wish you guys could all be here with me, and if you ever feel like writing, as I LOVE GETTING LETTERS!!! my address is...
Kara Martin PO Box 162 The Junction NSW 2291 AUSTRALIA
But until we meet again, please let me know how you're going, and I will try and keep you guys informed on what God is doing (I will write a post later on what I think God is doing in my life... some clear, some not quite as clear), and what is happening at YWAM Newcastle, or wherever I am in the world!
So we are being inducted into being leaders on Youth Street.
Youth Street is a large family of youth, where we share the love that God has shown us, and get alongside with the youth of today, where they are at. Everyone belongs!!!
Pray for our first Youth Street, day and night (which happens every Saturday), of term 4. That the love God has for us would not only shine in our hearts, but out of our hearts and into theirs.
Our compassion team is a part of something really exciting right now. Two of the staff members, one of which is staffing the compassion dts (Faith), are pioneering something called the Rahab Ministry. This ministry focuses on going into brothels (as prostitution is legal in Australia), making the prostitutes realise they're special, that they don't need to perform sex to be accepted, that they're worthy and that there is a better life, outside of the sex industry. This is demonstrated through quality time, gifts, genuine love, and sharing the gospel (and the Father's love) amongst other things.
Yesterday we prayed outside a brothel called 'One one one' in Islington, which was surrounded by parks, antique shops and children's laughter (from neighbouring houses). One thing that surprised me was the fact that there was no mention of the word 'brothel' in any of their outside signs. It can be found online and in the yellow pages where there is abundant sources of information and links (not that I've looked). But apart from knowing what the name stood for, it was almost indistinguishable from any other building; and it made me wonder how many building are like that all over Australia? How many women feel trapped or feel like they can't do any better, so they turn to prostitution? How many underagers see it as a good profession to get into, or again feel worthless and the only purpose they have in life (which could pay the big bucks) and lie about their age to get in? I think it's something God may be igniting in me, I don't know, but it's sad to know that this is happening in our Australian cities; this is happening all around the world; this is happening today... IT IS REALITY!!!
Today was the first day of the Compassion DTS, so exciting, but also highly overwhelming.More so overwhelming from the standards I have set for myself or thoughts that popped into my head, than with what we are being taught.For example, today we were told a lot about what YWAM Newcastle is looking for; what their visions are; and where they want to be at certain stages of the base’s life.One in particular, that was highlighted as being a great base life impact earlier on, was skating, surfing and the arts (music, drama, etc.).We were also given a few books, in which one was on ‘Outreach Activities’, and what the activity you’d be doing each week, in the set time, would be.A lot of these activities were dramas or skits.I freaked at this idea.I was thinking, I can’t skate, I can’t surf, I can’t sing; I can’t act to save myself… AM I REALLY MEANT TO BE HERE?!?!?! And I also had a lot of doubts and questionings on why I am at YWAM Newcastle now, am I meant to be here, and what on earth could God do with me, in a place like this?So that was, and has been a few of my thoughts in the last few days of settling in, where everything feels like it’s in limbo!But this afternoon I had a peace settling realisation.
1.If I am having all these doubts, maybe I am meant to be here for something more than what I know I, myself, am capable to do.Maybe I should stay here, just to smite whatever doubts I am having.
2.The other one was that I can’t skate, surf, dance, act, sing, etc. (all stuff YWAM Newcastle specialises in ministry); what can I do?I can draw.Even though I’m not confident enough in my drawing, painting, writing, or photography.I know and want God to enhance me to do His work; and if it’s not any of my already known, but incompetent talents, I pray God would reveal where I’m meant to be.
(Second half of first week)
So whilst I have had thoughts of packing up and going home, I know that there is a reason I am here. Some other stuff that we did was talk more about outreach locations, had a tour of Newcastle, checked out some of Australia’s wildlife, did homework on ‘Hearing God’s Voice’, which covered intercession, personal experiences on hearing God’s voice, worship and prayer.
The main thing that was a highlight for me though, after feeling as though I didn’t fit in with the different cultures on my team (as I’m the only Australian student), was having a chat with a YWAM resident named Christina. This conversation occurred just after everyone had left for base retreat (an annual camping trip that staff and students attend), and whilst I can’t really remember what we talked about, apart from our life story, it left me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and reenergised to see God move.
As I wasn’t on base retreat, due to attending and being a part of a really close friend’s wedding (back in Toowoomba), on the Sunday, I had some time to spend in my room alone.This was a bit of a ‘God and me’ time too, as when I entered my room, I saw my bunk bed, and saw (as well as knew) that my bed was not made.Although I had my fitted sheet and top sheet on top of the bunk, it was still folded, and I had been sleeping in my sleeping bag all week.So whilst looking at the bed, I just felt that I really needed to make my bed properly, with sheets and unzipping my sleeping bag (acting like a blanket), as it felt like it was an encouragement to just pack up and quit, go home, or run away.So I made my bed, and what a huge relief it was!
The rest of the week entailed with me waking up at 3am (2am Qld time), to get ready, and catch a plane (at 0620) from Newcastle to Brisbane (arriving at 630 Qld time), travelling from Brisbane to Toowoomba, picking up Mum’s car for the wedding procession in between, and filling in time in downtown Toowoomba, before the wedding party lunch, wedding rehearsal, and bridal-get-ready-party.
This weekend, which also included the wedding of Peter Lawrence and Genevieve Kells (now Lawrence), was such an amazing weekend.Whilst I did not realise that I had seen God’s footprints, looking back on the period away, I saw where God was, and just noticed Toowoomba in a whole different set of eyes.With as little sleep as I had had, being up for 22 hours on Saturday (2am Qld time, to 1230 am) it was cool to feel as energised as if I had slept for ages.
It was also a great time catching up with family, and feeling like I actually do have a family in Toowoomba now! :)
I arrived back in Newcastle on Monday, at around 1220, after going through Brisbane’s airport strikes, and a few other things, and just know and believe God is going to do and is doing amazing things, so I will keep you posted, and will now upload photos, since I’ve picked up the camera cords, so that you can see what your support is doing down here in Newcastle!!! Until next time, GBUG (God Bless U Good),Kara
It’s Labour Day, in New South Wales, today.But it’s also YWAM’s second day of the weekend.As part of the public holiday, a few of us (all leaders, except me) – Becca, Brooke, and Danny, went and checked out Fort Scratchely, which was a fort created originally to defend Australia from the concept of Russian invasion in the late 1800s, during the Crimean War.It was then used to defend Australia during World War Two, firing cannons on the Japanese when they came down our coastline.
The entrance fee was also reduced to $5, from $12, so we got to check out the tunnels and explore the cottages and servant quarters, which has been set up as a museum, which was a fantastic history lesson well learnt.I’m hoping to, when I work out how, to include a map of the area, and basic history lesson of the fort.
There was also an art exhibition of photography and sculptures on display, as a part of the Mattara Festival.This festival is an annual event celebrating life in Newcastle and the Hunter Valley, denoting the matarra (the Awabakal Aboriginal word for hand) of friendship, offered to visitors to Newcastle and locals.
Today also entailed with unpacking all my stuff, as our room’s fourth resident, Carina, had arrived from Austria, and we could allocate whose belongings could go into the space that was available.A few of us also played Articulate and let’s just say playing with teams of 3, AND mixed nationalities and cultures, where some people don’t have English as their first language, is challenging, but so much fun!
So in short, my room mates are Natalie (Ontario, Canada), Jess (Maui, USA), Carina (Austria).They’re an interesting mob, with so many mixed cultures, but we also entertain and learn a lot from each other.
On the right side of the blog, just above 'Followers' and 'Follow by E-mail', there is now a news feed of 'Prayer Points'. I will be adding to this frequently, with prayer points that you can pray for. It's quite exciting! Cheers!
If you guys like letter writing... I LOVE GETTING LETTERS!!!
Especially surprising ones :)
So feel free to write me a letter, or send a surprise my way at:
Kara Martin Compassion DTS YWAM P.O Box 162 The Junction, NSW Australia 2291
(Image obtained from http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/genlady/genlady0802/genlady080200014/2616608-letters-with-a-quill-an-inkwell--a-stamp-on-a-rustic-paper.jpg - THIS IS NOT MY OWN IMAGE)
Today was another day of more people arriving, games, and settling in, with two days to go until the Compassion DTS officially starts.There are three schools here at the moment – The Compassion DTS, The All Generation DTS (both starting on October 4) and The Creative DTS (which is about to go on their outreach phase, having started in July).
A few of us students (from the Compassion DTS and All Generations DTS) checked out Woolworths also today.Surprisingly a lot of the Americans cannot say Woolworths, so it has been officially dubbed its Australian name of Woolies, on International standards.
Becca and I also had a few tackling sessions today, and boy were they fun.It’s great to be able to grapple with someone again.I haven’t done it for months, and sure do miss it.We did wonder, at one stage, the impression we were creating for the Americans, of an Australian representative… then we just laughed.It was great.
Becca, Dieuwke, and I also introduced one of my team mates, Jeff,to 313 (three thirteen), a card game where you start with three cards, in the first round, and end with thirteen cards, in the tenth round, trying to get as low a score as possible.I do admit, playing with someone who is a bit jet lagged still, and would be, if he was still in Maui, be playing at 3am.But it was a blast of laughs :).
I still, at times, wonder what I am doing here, and why I am here.Part of me wants to run away and hide, as I feel, compared to a lot of people, I am so not ready for this, or what God has in store.But I’m just taking it one step at a time and trying to learn to not compare, all over again.
I’ve arrived in Newcastle, and I don’t know what to think.It doesn’t even feel real.It feels like it should be another month, or more, away.Even whilst I was at the airport, it did not feel real, as if I was there for someone else’s departure/arrival.Who knew that it was really today that I’d be moving states.
So now I’m in Newcastle.Everyone seems really nice.I left the Brisbane airport (and Ruthie, who saw me off) at 2030 (8.30PM), after a 35 minute delay (caused originally from Melbourne-Brisbane’s flight).My carry on luggage felt bulky and heavy, so it was interesting being one of the last passengers on the plane, and being unable to find any space in the overhead lockers, thus resorting to squishing both handbag and green bag (full of stuff) underneath the chair, hidden with my pillow on top.
I feel like I’ve brought a lot of stuff, however, according to American standards, I’ve brought a small amount (being I only had one checked bag of 19Kg, and most have 2 or 3 checked bags).It’s crazy with the diverse cultures!!!
I sat next to a school teacher, Doug, from Newcastle, and some other guy who just read his e-book the whole time, and correlated facts from each other.It was really interesting, even though I wanted to just sleep, to learn some contacts of people and churches I can check out in Mayfield.He was shocked to know that I was going somewhere where I didn’t know the people, didn’t know the course work, didn’t know what I would be doing or what would be happening, or anything; and with the fact that I didn’t know who, if anybody, would be greeting and meeting me at the airport, I was offered a lift if no one turned up.Whilst I nervous about not really knowing him, it was nice to be offered the lift.
We arrived at the Newcastle Airport, which seems to be only one gate, after what felt like a ten minute flight, arriving at 2150 (9.50 PM).We walked from the plane, around two sides of the terminal, and into a small terminal area.After looking around and not seeing anybody, I grabbed my bag, turned around and saw two of my leaders, Jeremy and Tessa.I also met Jo Stevens, who is staffing ‘All Gen’ with Cookie, who had also come from Brisbane (although I did not know we were on the same flight, at the same time).
We waited for another half hour, for Camillia, who was coming from Canada, and after another twenty minute drive, we arrived at Lewis House (6-8 Highfield St) and boy does it have a history!The architecture is (wow) AMAZING!!! The whole building – kitchen, dining room, lounge, dorm rooms, showers, bathrooms, all loop together… there is no going outside .(I will mention more about the history of Lewis House in later post).
I was taken on a tour of the house, with one stop being the staff room (locally known as ‘The Den’).One of my leaders, Dieuwke, was sitting in the far corner, and got up to give me a MASSIVE hug, when she saw me.It was great.It was what I needed, to feel more welcomed, in such a new place, and I think has made me feel a little more at home.
Becca, one of the base’s registrars, and also one of the daughters of the family I boarded with for the last few months, came and also gave me a hug.It was all so nice.
I’m sharing a room with three other girls, two bunks, two cupboards, and on my bunk (chosen top, next to the window) there was a note, welcoming us and inscribed with a personal message from Dieuwke, with a vision or prayer she had seen from God.
Mine was “When praying for you there was a picture of how God lifted you up from the ground, with nothing touching you.Lightning where[sic] coming out of you, bright & brighter, as God was gently holding you.It changed you, like an old skin falling off and your inner beauty revealed. ‘See, I am doing a new thing’ (Isaiah 43:19)”.
I don’t know what it means, who it’s from and I am a little scared, but it is exciting.
Now I’m ready for bed, but am just staying up (in Room 38, same gate that I boarded) to greet Jessica Blair, who is arriving from Maui, Hawaii, any minute (0100/ 1AM) now.But I think it’s all going to be good.Familial, challenging AND growingly good!
(photos: top and middle - front door of our room, and who I share it with; bottom - our room, before we move in).
In all honesty, I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown... With one wedding already been (Gordon, and Mum's), and one on its way (Peter & Gen's), it still feels like YWAM is months away still. However, I know this is not true...
Within 5 days, I will be flying to Newcastle, to begin an adventure of a life time! Whilst I feel that I am no where near ready, I know I will probably never feel ready to accept this mission (due to my high standards), so I am going into this mission fully trusting God!
Accommodation, transport, and friends, have all been stitched together by God's hands, to make me feel more at home (and also at rest). I don't have to panic about being forgotten at the Newcastle Airport (which sadly I had been previously), late at night, because I am catching the same plane from Brisbane, with two people. One being Cookie (Michael Cooke, from Sydney, Australia), who I have spent a couple of years getting to know, through Student Life's inter-uni relationships with Universities all around Australia and the World, and the second being Dieuwke, who is one of my leaders, both of whom are heading back to the Newcastle YWAM base. Thanks God. :)
I also feel a lot more at peace at fitting in at the base. I have been talking to a few of the girls and one or two of the guys, that I'll be sharing the journey with, and am discovering that we have similar fears. Fears of not fitting in; not knowing what to pack; not having the money all raised in time; not liking it; evangelising; not being spiritually ready; saying goodbye to friends at home, and wondering if we'll still be friends when we get back; etc.
I have also had fun explaining to some Americans and Canadians, the differences that Australia has, compared to their home country... it is really amusing, and eye opening, to realise the vast amount of differences there are in the western world, even though we have the same fast food shops, same clothes, same language and technology, and almost similarly the same culture. It's really exciting to know the experiences that are to be in store :)
My friends up in Toowoomba, have also decided to arrange a farewell party for me, which has touched me so unbelieveably, and the fact that there are more than 2 or 3 people coming to it, has also touched me, and encouraged me to keep going. It is all so close, and whilst I am nervous about the unknown coming, I am excited at learning to give all my fears and anguishes to God, and to learn to trust Him, in this adventure He has prepared for my feet.
As most of you know, Cambodia has left an imprint on my heart, and will always tug my heart strings. This video was created by the Battambang (North East Cambodia) University of Nations (YWAM's tertiary study facility, similar to our TAFE, University, etc.), where it represents just a snipit of what Cambodia is like and the need that has not yet been filled in Cambodia, as well as other parts of the world!
This is something I know I am on this planet to do. What I cannot do physically, monetarily, or spiritually; I can do with the gifts God has given me. I want to genuinely care for those who are looking for love and a purpose in life. Whilst I still have not worked out what my purpose in life is yet, I am using what I have, and hoping God fills in the rest.
If we each do what we can, who knows what the world would look like!
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