I moved out because it seemed easy. I wouldn't yell at Mum, I wouldn't cause tension, the travel was less... it was easier... it appeared more convenient. But I wasn't ready to move out. I was running away. Running away from conflict. Running away from hurt. Running away because flight appeared easier than fight. Who knew that one day I'd realise that I'd still have to fight... I'd just have to fight with all the issues that caused flight, weighing on me too.
That is not much fun, in fact I believe it's harder now because when you're trying to deal with the issue you're still stuck in the age of that which you first flew instead of fighting, and so rationality, logic, and emotions are all tied in together and blended together, so that it's harder to see the clear border between it all.
(I wasn't going to bring God into this mind bubble of thoughts at all, but I believe that...)
The same could go with God...
How often do we run away from God - whether we realise it or not? We may not have run away from God in the sense of saying 'I hate You God, I'm going to do what I want to do", nor may we have had God tell us clearly to do something and gone "Nup! That's too hard. I don't want to do that. I'm not going to do that. Maybe later..." But what about our fear?
As I've said above, we may not have been asked by God directly to do something, and out of fear or feeling of incompetency refused, but at the same time how much do we let fear hinder us? God may not have told us to do something... but we may be limiting our potential, the potential that God gave us, and thus God, by fear, which limits God and His movement in us!
For example, asking and going for help may appear too hard, so we don't. Seeing a stranger in need, when we're with friends, may put us in the bad books with that group of friends (afraid of people's opinion) and so we pretend we haven't seen that stranger in need. Stepping into unknown territory - new city/ new job/ new church/ new school / mission trip / uni course, etc. may appear too daunting, not worth the fear and awkwardness involved, and so we stay where we're comfortable, but at the same time uncomfortable, because we're hurting / we're feeling stunted and not growing / we're getting bullied / we're bored / we're feeling alone / we're feeling hopeless, etc. Don't stay - MOVE!!!
Staying is saying that you don't believe God has your hand in His hand. It is saying that you don't trust that in these difficult circumstances and fears of the unknown, that you know God does know what is going on; He does have your best interests in mind; and He only gives good gifts, even if they do hurt at first because not all growth and healing is pain free - sometimes the bad bits have to be cut off first; the diamond's rock edges have to be sanded off before the real gem can truly shine, with all of God's original intention!
Staying limits God! Not doing anything is like treading water - you can swim backwards to where you've been, but know that that's the location that caused you the most pain and got you into this mess to start off with; or you can just tread water, where you're comfy at the moment, but your energy will soon run out and you'll drown, or get caught in a rip (very strong current) which will take you back to where you were, where you don't really want to be; OR you can swim forward, towards a rescuing island, which like God, has what you need to survive the rough seas of confusion and exhaustion!
This has become my goal over the last year... every time I fear physical things - no matter how scary, I force myself to attempt them - to do it! Because I know that it'll grow me and if I don't do it, then I'll regret the missed opportunity, because you wonder how that opportunity may have affected you, shaped you, stretched you, made you grow...
Fears over physical obstacles, aka physical fears, I find a lot more easier to deal with and push myself to overcome; but emotional and spiritual fears I find a lot more challenging to take on in battle and so this is my declaration, that I will be treading water no more, because I want to know and believe God does have the best interests in mind for me and actually step out in faith and action and believe!!!
(My game face is on... GO THE BLUES!!!)
Beautifully put!
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