Today was the first day of the Compassion DTS, so exciting, but also highly overwhelming. More so overwhelming from the standards I have set for myself or thoughts that popped into my head, than with what we are being taught. For example, today we were told a lot about what YWAM Newcastle is looking for; what their visions are; and where they want to be at certain stages of the base’s life. One in particular, that was highlighted as being a great base life impact earlier on, was skating, surfing and the arts (music, drama, etc.). We were also given a few books, in which one was on ‘Outreach Activities’, and what the activity you’d be doing each week, in the set time, would be. A lot of these activities were dramas or skits. I freaked at this idea. I was thinking, I can’t skate, I can’t surf, I can’t sing; I can’t act to save myself… AM I REALLY MEANT TO BE HERE?!?!?! And I also had a lot of doubts and questionings on why I am at YWAM Newcastle now, am I meant to be here, and what on earth could God do with me, in a place like this? So that was, and has been a few of my thoughts in the last few days of settling in, where everything feels like it’s in limbo! But this afternoon I had a peace settling realisation.
1. If I am having all these doubts, maybe I am meant to be here for something more than what I know I, myself, am capable to do. Maybe I should stay here, just to smite whatever doubts I am having.
2. The other one was that I can’t skate, surf, dance, act, sing, etc. (all stuff YWAM Newcastle specialises in ministry); what can I do? I can draw. Even though I’m not confident enough in my drawing, painting, writing, or photography. I know and want God to enhance me to do His work; and if it’s not any of my already known, but incompetent talents, I pray God would reveal where I’m meant to be.
(Second half of first week)
So whilst I have had thoughts of packing up and going home, I know that there is a reason I am here. Some other stuff that we did was talk more about outreach locations, had a tour of Newcastle, checked out some of Australia’s wildlife, did homework on ‘Hearing God’s Voice’, which covered intercession, personal experiences on hearing God’s voice, worship and prayer.
The main thing that was a highlight for me though, after feeling as though I didn’t fit in with the different cultures on my team (as I’m the only Australian student), was having a chat with a YWAM resident named Christina. This conversation occurred just after everyone had left for base retreat (an annual camping trip that staff and students attend), and whilst I can’t really remember what we talked about, apart from our life story, it left me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and reenergised to see God move.
As I wasn’t on base retreat, due to attending and being a part of a really close friend’s wedding (back in Toowoomba), on the Sunday, I had some time to spend in my room alone. This was a bit of a ‘God and me’ time too, as when I entered my room, I saw my bunk bed, and saw (as well as knew) that my bed was not made. Although I had my fitted sheet and top sheet on top of the bunk, it was still folded, and I had been sleeping in my sleeping bag all week. So whilst looking at the bed, I just felt that I really needed to make my bed properly, with sheets and unzipping my sleeping bag (acting like a blanket), as it felt like it was an encouragement to just pack up and quit, go home, or run away. So I made my bed, and what a huge relief it was!
The rest of the week entailed with me waking up at 3am (2am Qld time), to get ready, and catch a plane (at 0620) from Newcastle to Brisbane (arriving at 630 Qld time), travelling from Brisbane to Toowoomba, picking up Mum’s car for the wedding procession in between, and filling in time in downtown Toowoomba, before the wedding party lunch, wedding rehearsal, and bridal-get-ready-party.
This weekend, which also included the wedding of Peter Lawrence and Genevieve Kells (now Lawrence), was such an amazing weekend. Whilst I did not realise that I had seen God’s footprints, looking back on the period away, I saw where God was, and just noticed Toowoomba in a whole different set of eyes. With as little sleep as I had had, being up for 22 hours on Saturday (2am Qld time, to 1230 am) it was cool to feel as energised as if I had slept for ages.
It was also a great time catching up with family, and feeling like I actually do have a family in Toowoomba now! :)
I arrived back in Newcastle on Monday, at around 1220, after going through Brisbane’s airport strikes, and a few other things, and just know and believe God is going to do and is doing amazing things, so I will keep you posted, and will now upload photos, since I’ve picked up the camera cords, so that you can see what your support is doing down here in Newcastle!!! Until next time, GBUG (God Bless U Good), Kara
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